NOTE from AGINGBUTDANGEROUS
(we would say “warning” but we are thinking that that would be overkill.)

We understand that some of you are not comfortable with the public discussion of sex or any of its wonderful accoutrements.   AgingButDangerous wants to respect ALL of our many wonderful and diverse followers.  However, there are also MANY of you that want to become more knowledgeable about yourselves sexually, to stretch those puritanical boundaries that have plagued most of us our entire lives.  Pure and simple, the number one topic for most of our sister websites and for ours is sex.  There in lies our dilemma. We at AgingButDangerous strive to create a SAFE place for ALL to learn about ourselves as women and that includes sex.  We are proud of that.

Kissing is an exercise that is much too often wasted on the young, at least for the pre- boomer generation.  If you kept track of all the romantic kissing that you did in high school and college, and maybe when you were young and single, would it come close to adding up to the amount of romantic kissing that you have done in the past 40 years, ESPECIALLY if you’re married?  (Remember “suck face”, who started that, yuck!)  Kissing is an art: it combines passion, patience, pleasure, tenderness, restraint, surrender and control and wraps it into a warm and somewhat innocent way of exposing yourself to another human being.  Having just met a man that is an amazing kisser, (and I am not divulging his identity or his location, because I don’t want to have to deal with the line of women that would instantly appear outside his door), I am truly taken aback at the romance extended by a tender kiss.  

This simple statement catapults us into a myriad of related topics: soft lips, vulnerability, those that have kissing issues or deficits.  You’ve never heard of AKD, “adult kissing disorder”?  This is a syndrome usually applicable to smokers, people with hard lips or a total void of romance, and the patience of a nat. 

With cupid, (or Hallmark), encouraging us to take a look at our romantic commitments this month, I would encourage you to sit down beside someone that you love and kiss them in a way that shows your true devotion, admiration and attraction to them, especially if it is someone that you have been with for a very long time.  Having shocked the crap out of them, they will probably wonder what you are up to—tell them something just came over you.  (Actually, you can probably come up with something much better than that.

“Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.  Find me a find, catch me a catch”, sings Tevye’s daughters from “Fiddler on the Roof”.  Whose cockamamy idea was that anyway?  Finding a male specimen, to relate to romantically, in these days of social media out the kazoo, has gotten a little obsessive, and for me totally irritating.

This entire episode started when we ran the ‘LOVE HURTS’ piece several weeks ago, and found that there were multitudes of women, many of them VERY angry, frustrated women, that had had a similar experience or one many times worse than my, seemingly, at this point, very vanilla encounter.  (We will include some of the replies to that post at the end of this piece.  Please excuse some of the dissertation length, however wildly passionate communication we received—we feel your pain.)

Jean felt that it was time for all of us, especially me, to get back on that horse, and  Match.com was the catalyst of choice.  A link to Match.com appeared in my e-mail, (from you know who), and before I knew it I was filling out my “profile” and sending the finest of my photo collection to be posted in front of who knows who.  And you think my life can’t get dangerous?  That was last Wednesday, 9 December.  Then all hell broke loose. 

Out of the hundred plus replys, that totally messed up my own, personal, e-mail organization system, there were a couple that sounded worth checking into, but I was too overwhelmed to react—mainly I wondered the following:
• Where do grown men come up with these code names: Lovebug, MrAtlas, RandyGolfer-(I really hope his name is Randy), Cruise2Freedom, CloudyHoped- (whatever that means), PowerCat, MiracleNow-(‘tis the season I guess)?   Or the bewildering, TimeOfHope–It’s clear that there was no female input solicited for a name that one might find in a funeral home brochure.