AUF WIEDERSEHEN “PROJECT RUNWAY” – HELLO “BIG SISTER”
What I Would Like to See on Reality TV
By Robyn Hall
July 2010
Part 2

Welcome to the newest reality TV show, Big Sister, hosted by Aging But Dangerous divas C. Suzanne Bates and Jean Ketcham.  They have invited five of their 50-plus friends to become big sisters and mentors to women who need it most – women in their 40s (the baby sisters).  Watch the first six episodes outlined below (and enjoy the puns based on real reality TV shows).  Stay tuned for the next seven episodes and the inspiring conclusion to Season One!

1. How Not to Look Old or Fat  -  The baby sisters angst over the huge changes in their bodies.  The Big Sisters reveal that what they are experiencing is normal – that when you enter your 40s, your metabolism starts to crawl along at a snail’s pace; your waistline expands and gets its own zipcode; your breasts get “slaggy” (as my 10 year old told me while I was lounging in my lace-up bathing suit in Hawaii, which is a lovely combo of “slack, “sagging” and “flabby”); and you get those damn muffin tops that all low-rise jeans (because what other kind are there?!) make so unflatteringly apparent.  What’s a MILF to do?  Guest host and author Charla Krupp gives out tips from her books on the topic.
2. The Boys Next Door – The Big Sisters surprise the baby sisters with some eye candy today -  People magazine’s Sexiest Men Alive from the last 10 years come on the show (okay, I can dream!).  The men all appear at various distances from the baby sisters, who have to guess who they are WITHOUT using their glasses.  Not fair!    Afterwards, the 50-plussers share solutions for presbyopia – the change in eyesight that accompanies age and makes you hold your menu and medication a mile away so that you can read the mouse type –such as classy specs, larger font, etc.  
3. Work Your Ass Off – The baby sisters have rebelled and hacked the mainline TV production computer in order to check their emails.  While they are finally learning to relax and enjoy being away from home this long, they are stressed to the max about being away from the office.  That’s because your 40s are your peak income earning years, and these women feel that they have to be on top of their game at all times. Guest hosts this week are Suze Orman, Arianna Huffington, and Oprah Winfrey, who help the baby sisters realize their career aspirations. 
4. Suzanne & Jean Plus 18 – This week the 40-somethings meet and are given advice from the offspring of the 50-plussers.  The baby sisters find out that taking care of the kids is only going to get exponentially harder; from hospital exams to school exams, as the kids grow in size, so do the issues. They learn that parenting becomes a 4-season sport because a) your kids don’t talk to you anymore, so b) you have to be even more vigilant about who/what/when/where they are in this day and age of cheap and easy drugs, sex, booze and the technology to share it all.  Get prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly!
5. M Factor  – The Big Sisters tackle the big M today – menopause – and tell the baby sisters what to expect not only when The Change comes, but also what happens beforehand.  Most women have no clue that their monthly gift from Mother Nature, which has been predictable thus far, turns unpredictable and catches them off guard as early as their late 30s.  The baby sisters solemnly but gratefully take in the news that their hormones are all ready whacked out and that they have lost complete control of their bodies.
6. Husband Swap – The baby sisters are shown hidden-camera video of their husbands and what they have been doing for the past 5 weeks – and completely freak out!  Because there is no time to talk and men don’t like to share, the 40-somethings had no clue that their husbands are also going through their own midlife thing – wanting to get a hot red car and a cool blue pill, feeling restless at work and at home, etc.  The Big Sisters bring their husbands/significant others along, and the men do the heavy lifting when it comes to advice on how to deal with and understand their younger counterparts.

Read part 3 and check out the grand finale of Big Sister next . . .