When my kids were growing up I decided that they needed a grandmother figure in their lives.  We “adopted” an older woman from our church to take in as a surrogate grandmother.  My vision was that this sweet, older lady would bake cookies with my kids and speak dreamily to them about her child hood as they hung, spellbound on every word.

Our reality was that this” old coot” was one of the meanest people I had ever known! Not only did she freak our kids out with her Billy Goat Gruff chin hairs, BUT, her final endearing gesture was urinating on the leather seats of my husbands new Jaguar. How could anyone pee in a new Jag?  My now ”X” refused to “embrace” her after that.  I was not sad.

Several years later, we were stranded with some wonderful friends of ours on a boat—long story—anyway, I was doing some kind of bizarre cheer about an obscure football team in the Big Ten and a discussion about uncontrollable urination became the focus, (instead of my bouncy little cheer). Why were these wonderfully chic women saying things like, “yea, wait until you’re our age and you won’t be bouncing up and down like that anymore. You’ll be wetting your pants if you do”.  REALLY?  I was totally perplexed.

Last Saturday night Jean, her husband Mike, and I were having dinner with some of their VERY long time friends, (college type), and my friends of a mere 28 years.  At some point during the evening Jean announced, “I am wetting my pants every time I cough or laugh”.  REALLY, I thought.

After dinner we moved to a more comfortable seating area and the true dilemma of her honesty became a sit-com clip.  Jean suggested that she sit on a pillow that was near by, so as not to wet on  the furniture.  The host, a long time friend since college, announced: “I don’t want you peeing on our pillow”!  Our hostess suggested she sit on the leather couch.  Jean was just trying to be a responsible guest and said that she was uncomfortable wetting on their leather sofa!  Finally, a towel appeared and the mini crisis had been resolved in a manner that suited all involved parties.

In the U.S., 13 million adults  suffer from urinary incontinence, (UI).  According to “What Your Female Patients Want To Know About Bladder Control”, 1 in 4 women ages 30 to 59 deal with UI.  According to AHCPR, $11.2 billion is spent yearly on pads and adult diapers to manage UI.  Visit http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/uiwomen/ to get the information you will need to move forward in addressing this all too common issue.

Thank you , wonderful friend and business partner,  for bringing to the forefront a subject that, although not terribly appealing, is a topic that I am afraid is going to be with us for many years to come.   In the framework of that admiration, I hope you are not offended by the towel, monogrammed with your initials and permanently secured to the shotgun seat of my car.  Think of it as a tribute to ……………your integrity—yea—that’s it.